We’re still on track for a June 1 – ish release for Psyched to Death. Until then, here’s an excerpt. Enjoy!
When Ali and I were in third grade, a new kid came to town.
His name was Robbie Harrison. His dad was a colonel, and Robbie was an only child, which meant that Robbie’s dad made a lot more money than mine or Ali’s and Robbie had a lot more stuff than we did. But at recess, Robbie was one of us. He joined us on top of the jungle gym, adding color commentary to Ali’s descriptions of playground hijinks. After Mel moved to town the following year, there were four of us. We were a little too old to spend recess at the top of the jungle gym so we’d hang out under a tree and talk. We had other friends but the four of us were a team. Indivisible.
Robbie often asked me over, to play or hang out, and I always went. I had to share a room with Jeff and Kevin, and Robbie had a huge house almost to himself. His dad was always working, and his mom was either asleep, or sitting in the back yard smoking and reading romance novels. They had an enormous TV in the family room and we could watch anything without restriction. Robbie had his own TV in his bedroom, too. He had toys and video games and, eventually, computers. Sometimes Ali and Mel would come over, but often – and especially as we got older – it was just Robbie and me.
The first time that Robbie touched me was by mistake. He had a double bed and was accustomed to sleeping in it alone. One Saturday morning when we were nearly fourteen, I woke up with Robbie’s face buried in my neck, his hard-on pushing into my leg, and his hand on my groin. I jumped and pushed him away, and he woke up grumbling. “What?”
“Nothing.” But I started noticing things about Robbie. How his voice was growing deeper, and how long his eyelashes were. How good he looked with a towel wrapped around his waist. And it didn’t feel ridiculous at all.
The second time Robbie touched me, I touched him back. We were watching TV in his room, lying on his bed, when Robbie grabbed the remote and switched channels.
“Hey! I was watching that.” I grabbed for the remote.
He held it away from me. “Too bad. I wanna watch something else.”
“No way.” I went for the remote and we wrestled around a little, and wound up giggling in a heap in the middle of the bed. Robbie was on top of me, and as we lay there, we slowly stopped giggling and looked at each other – and Robbie got hard. And then, in response, so did I. Robbie softly said, “Whoa.”
“Um – yeah.”
Robbie rolled off of me, but reached out and took hold of me, and I took hold of him right back. And it was outstanding.
I was never in love with Robbie. I had crushes on other guys, but I could hide them because I was finding release with Robbie. He and I never talked about what we were doing, until the day I told him that Jeff and Kevin had figured out I was gay.
We’d just jerked each other off. Now Robbie looked at me, puzzled. “What are you talking about? You’re not gay.”
“Whaddya mean, I’m not gay? Yes, I am. I like guys. What do you think we’re doing here?”
Robbie was flabbergasted. “We’re just fooling around. We’re not gay. You’re not gay.”
“Robbie. C’mon. Guys who aren’t gay don’t get into sucking each other’s dicks.”
He was starting to get mad. “I’m not gay. I’m not into other guys. I just like doing it with you. ‘Cause we’re friends. We’re just friends.”
“Robbie, I don’t want to date you. We are just friends. But you’ve got lots of other friends. Don’t you want to do this with any of them?”
“N…no!” He had a wild expression in his eyes, and I knew he was lying. He’s crushing on other guys, too, I thought.
“Jamie…do Jeff and Kevin know about us?”
“I didn’t tell them.”
“That’s not what I asked you.”
“They guessed. But they’re not going to tell anybody.”
“They can’t!” Now Robbie was scared shitless. He was whipping through emotions so swiftly I couldn’t keep up. “If my dad finds out, he’ll kill me. I mean it. He’ll take me out on the boat and throw me overboard and say it was an accident. Or run over me with the car and say it was an accident. Or something. He’d completely kill me.”
“Robbie, calm down. No one will find out. Jeff and Kevin won’t tell anybody, because they’re gonna protect me, right?”
He started to settle down a little. “You’re sure.”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“Okay then.” He slid down the bed between my legs and looked back up at me. “But I’m not gay.” Then he took my dick in his mouth.